Wednesday, November 9, 2011

It's Aliens...

     One of the many pleasures in life is sitting in a cozy chair and reading a book. Of course its fun, after all, that's how so many blog posts begin, so it must be true. The type of book most people enjoy reading is one that addresses everyday current event issues. What makes this book even better is that it has a conspiracy theory. It's a fact of life: people love conspiracy theories. After all, how else could life be interesting if aliens weren't behind it all?
     Of course, everyone has their own suspicions about what is really behind occurrences in the world. For my part, I think that the recent earthquakes were caused by China which has an earthquake machine buried in D.C. They knew that the earthquakes would cause FEMA to spend more money, forcing the U.S. deeper into debt to China. But it's not the Chinese Communist Government at fault here; they are merely being used. See, there is a small group of people in the jungles of the Congo that were really the masterminds behind the Russian Communist Revolution, the U.S.S.R., and Mao's dictatorship over China. This small group was also responsible for Hitler's rise and collapse and for the Great Depression in the U.S., and they now  have full control over the Chinese government. The secret behind their impact is mind control. All over the world, this group has transmitters disguised as Coke machines through which they subconsciously 'suggest' information to the people within range. These Coke machine transmitters are the reason that the U.S. Government is attempting to eradicate soft drink machines from the schools: the FBI and CIA recognize the threat, and are attempting to stop it. Too extraordinary to be true? That's what the government said when I told them that the ringleader lived in Philville, Virginia, and controls the world from there (he also owns McDonalds and is bent on destroying the world through obesity). Through my research, I have not found any evidence of alien interference, but usually the Men In Black keep any such information quiet. I don't have any PHD's that back my theory up, but you never know....
     What's your theory?
     I have another conspiracy theory, except it's not too much of a theory--it's fact: there is a great and loving God who created the very dirt we stand on, who has a Son, who is eternal and infinite, and who controls everything. You ask for PHD advocacy? I have the very words of this God, which trumps any PHD. Granted, there are thousands of intelligent men and women with doctorates who have given much weight to this theory::cough::fact, but the Word straight from the Top (straight from God) is all I need.
     That's my theory.